The goals of the group include:

• the increased ability to cope effectively with the stress resulting from military/war experience and from readjustment to civilian life
• development/strengthening of healthy stress management tools
• mutual support in an environment of peers who have shared war experiences

Group facilitators will be Robert Hlasny, Ph.D., and Michael Fischler, Ed.D.  The meeting day and time will be determined after considering members’ scheduling needs.

If you know students who are war veterans, would you please encourage them to call the Counseling and Human Relations Center at (603) 535-2461 to schedule an intake assessment to determine if this group might be right for them.

Please be aware that space constraints may limit the size of the group.

If you need additional support/consultation, please don’t hesitate to contact a staff member at The Counseling and Human Relations Center at (603) 535-2461.

Plymouth State University, the Counseling and Human Relations Center, and their respective staff, faculty and students, are not responsible for any action taken by any person as a result of viewing or otherwise obtaining information from this Web site.

Linked resources available from this Web site are independently composed by sources outside Plymouth State University and the Counseling and Human Relations Center. Neither Plymouth State University nor the Counseling and Human Relations Center can be held responsible for any content contained on those links. Any link to an outside resource does not indicate endorsement of that resource, and does not necessarily reflect the policies, opinions, or practices of Plymouth State University or the Counseling and Human Relations Center.

Throughout the calendar we have provided benchmarks of the first year and potential challenges that you and/or your university student might face. Our hope at Plymouth State is that we can collaborate with families as partners in the educational experience and the development of your first-year student. We understand that you are in the process of witnessing the often rapid and awkward transformation from dependent child to independent adult/child and hope that along the way you will see the fruits of your labor in creating this unique person. Now she/he must learn to do and think for her/himself and we encourage you to teach them practical skills, prior to their arrival. Such skills include learning how to balance a checkbook, learning to establish healthy credit card habits, how to do laundry, as well as reviewing the values and principles that your family embraces.

• Discuss issues regarding alcohol and drug abuse and misuse, sex and safety.
• Feel free (perhaps for the first or the final time before they leave for college) to make your wishes known to your child and offer parameters for experimentation. Communicate clearly that you will not judge them in this newfound independence for making mistakes and that they can always come to you for assistance, guidance, and support. Remember to live by your promises both when outlining consequences for actions and offering support.
• Prepare your child to be successful by discussing the Counseling Center, Health Services, the Wellness Center, and Plymouth Academic Support Services (PASS) and the resources available to them. Information regarding any learning challenges or mental health or physical health issues from your child’s past might be disclosed to these offices to optimize planning for needed services. We understand how a student may want to leave labels or diagnoses behind them as they enter a new environment in which they can reinvent themselves. We also have seen how a child’s or family’s failure to disclose has led to feelings of frustration and isolation. Our aim is to pave the way to your child’s success, and we will work confidentially and respectfully to co-create a positive, supportive experience. Students should know that they have responsibilities in the college classroom and community including coming prepared to class, understanding financial responsibilities, becoming a self-advocate, and being a respectful member of the community.
• Do not be surprised if your child acts distant or remarkably antagonistic in the last weeks of living at home. Your child may be unconsciously attempting to make the separation easier for him/herself and for the family by acting in unlikable ways. Keep an open mind and know that by Thanksgiving time, you and your adult/child will most likely have a happy reunion.

• Labor Day Holiday (no classes) – September 3
• Fall Convocation – September 4
• Fall Classes begin – September 4, 5 p.m.
• Add/Drop and Confirmation Deadline – September 10
• Student Activities Fair – September 12, 4 p.m.
• Homecoming and Family Celebration – September 24 – 29

Benchmarks and Potential Challenges

• Try to recall the times when your child was forging new pathways of independence in his/her past (for example, kindergarten, driver’s license).
• Use these memories as indications of how you and your child might behave throughout this transition. For instance, if the child’s pattern is to be very enthusiastic and really “dive in” to experiences and then to lose steam when he/she arrives, then this pattern is likely to be repeated.
• Reflect on how you typically handle major separations from important people and the kind of supports you need from your partner, family, and friends.
• In the first weeks of school, be prepared to receive calls home from your child. This is a period of extreme self-doubt. Your child may ask you to rescue them from the challenges that they are facing socially, academically, and physically. When you can, resist the temptation to “be needed” and encourage the student to seek out his or her own supports and solutions. Refer the student to oncampus supports such as Community Advisors (CAs) and Residential Directors (RDs), Academic Advisors, the Counseling Center, the Wellness Center, Health Services, and the PASS office.
• If needed, make arrangements in the first week of school to meet with the PASS office to have an intake session regarding learning disability accommodation eligibility. It is very important to disclose to the PASS office about your child’s learning challenges so that they may create a structure in which they can succeed as students.
• Ask open-ended questions about favorite classes and what they are reading. Convey an interest in their learning and always ask a student if they want to hear your thoughts before offering up your advice or insights. Talk about yourself and tell them about the mundane aspects of life at home (for example, “I saw that the neighbors have a new dog”).
• Do not convert their room too quickly. Students need to know that in this time of tremendous change some things stay the same, and their own room, as it looked when they left for school, is an important stabilizer.
• Don’t panic if you have either no conversation or frequent communication with your child. There is no right way to make a transition. Letter writing and emailing notes about the goings on at home may not be returned letter for letter but are deeply appreciated by the student. Know that “being there” and serving as your child’s anchor is a thankless and invisible job and that things will change when your adolescent becomes a grown adult and reaches back to you.
• Encourage your student to stay on campus during the first few weekends. The first six weeks are critical in determining if a student will persist through the school year. By attending social events and meeting new friends, your student will be more likely to connect and feel a part of the Plymouth State community.
• Encourage your daughter/son to join clubs or organizations in order to make social connections. The Student Activities Office sponsors a Student Activities Fair in September. Check on-line for date, time, and location.
• If your child is eligible for work study, encourage them to seek an on-campus job. This is a great way for students to connect with potential mentors and/or learn about different opportunities to gain enriching work experience.
• Homecoming/Family Weekend brings the separation issues back to the forefront.  Don’t be surprised if your student does not want to spend every moment with you or even discourages you from coming for the weekend.  Respect their wishes and also know that they may change their minds last minute.  Feel assured that by Thanksgiving they will yearn for a “home cooked” meal, freshly washed clothes, and maybe your company.
• If you cannot make the weekend or have been temporarily “banished” from the campus, please send care packages in the place of your presence.  It will mean a great deal to your son or daughter if you send notes, supplies, home baked treats, a newspaper from home, and/or pictures.

• Columbus Day holiday (no daytime classes; evening classes start at 5 p.m.) – October 8
• Second half of semester begins – October 39

Benchmarks and Potential Challenges

• Emphasize issues of time management and study skills. If they are falling behind, encourage them to re-connect with their academic advisor. Faculty members also have available office hours to provide students with any necessary assistance. Encourage your student to seek out professors after class and to utilize their support offerings, guidance, and wisdom.
• Adjustment issues are still in full effect, and loneliness and homesickness may increase as students have their first long weekend and potential to see families and old friends. Long-distance relationships may begin to weaken and students may also experience increased feelings of doubt regarding their decision to go to school.
• Managing money is often a hot topic at this point because students are finding out how expensive living can be and may want to renegotiate their allowance if one is being given. Ask for a clear budget so that you can decide if your estimations were unreasonable. The first phone bill arrives this month and can be a shock to students who have not had to monitor their phone usage in the past. The use of phone cards or phone provider limits on minutes (call provider for details) can help solve spending problems. Also, cell phones tend to add up. Talk to your student about whether a cell phone is a necessity and, if so, discuss limitations.
• Requests for room changes in residence halls may prompt phone calls of support. Encourage working out solutions with roommates because room changes can interfere with the flow of the semester. Remember that students are learning how to advocate for themselves and intervening is tempting, but rarely necessary. We want your student to thrive, and Residential Life makes every effort to accommodate the needs of the students who are unhappy with their living situations.
• Given that everyone is different, please note if your student has historically “endured” uncomfortable circumstances, has not made contact, and does not advocate well for his/herself. If necessary, contact a Residence Life staff member who will discreetly “check in” on their experience.
• Mid-term examinations can be a particularly stressful milestone for the first-year student.
• Six week grades are issued to students and parents/guardians in October. This is a good indication of your student’s progress to date, but there is still time for struggling students to employ new strategies and get on track. It is important to discuss academic progress with your student. Congratulate them on their successes and seek to identify any challenges. Some students may feel discouraged, stressed, scared or excited and over-confident. Encourage your child to connect with their advisor for assistance and to focus on continuing patterns of success or developing new habits toward success.

• Veterans Day Holiday (no classes) — November 12
• Thanksgiving Recess Travel Day – November 21
• Thanksgiving Recess (no classes) – November 22 – 23
• Classes resume – November 26, 8 a.m.

Benchmarks and Potential Challenges

• Stress of “catching up” in coursework may hit at this time. Increased alcoho consumption as a result of anxiety and peer pressure may be evident. Encourage your son/daughter, if overwhelmed, to ask for help and emphasize that they are not alone.
• Health issues such as cold and flu may begin to spread. Your student can make an appointment at Health Services should they need medical attention. Persuade the student to seek out special programs in yoga, meditation, and stress reduction through the Wellness Center in order to increase immunity to disease and reduce anxiety.
• Parents may need to adjust to changes made (hair, makeup, style, food preferences, establishing own schedule, etc.) when your student visits during Thanksgiving break. Stay flexible and be prepared to negotiate new rules while your son or daughter is home. They may just want to “veg out,” eat, and see friends.
• Roommate issues may continue.
• Provide support and encourage responsibility and follow-through for the rest of the semester.

Final Exam Week – December 17 – 21

Benchmarks and Potential Challenges

• End of the semester anxiety regarding academic performance and concern over finals is paramount. This is perhaps the last chance to save one’s grade in one or many classes.
• This is a time of extreme pressure and emotional overload. The student may drastically fear parental reaction to first semester performance. Listen and steady them in their panic.
• The anticipation of six weeks at home can inspire both dread and excitement. Encourage the student to secure some work during the break to make some “fun money” and foster some level of financial independence.
• Prepare for further negotiations regarding curfews and responsibilities while living at home.