Being Gay/Lesbian
Yes, It's Normal.
In every culture, past, and present, there have been same- sex relationships.
  • The percentage varies in different times and places.  It usually ranges from 5-10%. 
  • Gay and lesbian people are all ages.  They come from all ethnic backgrounds, socioeconomic classes and educational levels. 
  • Many people who identify as heterosexual, or straight, have same-sex fantasies or experiences. 
  • Being gay or lesbian is less common than being straight.  But this doesn't mean it's not normal.  Left-handed people are a minority, but this doesn't mean they're abnormal. 
  • No matter where you come from, you've had contact with gay and lesbian people.  There's no one way gay and lesbian people look or act.  You can't tell by looking that someone is gay. 
  • Same-sex attractions seem to come from a mix of biology and environment.  They aren't the result of poor parenting, sexual abuse or childhood problems. 

GLBT: What's in a Name?

Gay men:  Men who are sexually attracted to men.  The term "gay" can refer to both men and women.
Lesbians:  Women who are romantically or sexually attracted to women.
Bisexual:  People who are attracted to both men and women.
Transgendered:  People who challenge traditional ideas about gender.  This includes:
    Transvestites:  Cross-dressers-men who dress in women's clothing.  They see themselves as men, they may be straight or gay.
    Transsexuals:  People who feel they are a different gender than their bodies.  Someone might feel like a woman in mans body, or vice versa. They may be straight or gay.  Some have sex change surgery.

**These categories aren't rigid.  Someone who identifies as heterosexual may have same sex fantasies.  A gay man may have been married to a woman in the past.  A woman who thinks of herself as straight may become sexually involved with another woman.

How Do I Know if I'm Gay?

People discover their sexual orientation in different ways.   Some are sure from the time they are very young.  Some spend years trying to figure things out.  Some feel certain for a long time, then have a period of doubt or change.
 
it's OK not to know if you're gay or straight.
Asking these questions might help:
  • Do I sometimes feel sexually attracted to people of the same sex? 
  • Do I feel emotionally attracted to someone of the same sex? 
  • Do I feel like something is not quite honest or true about my relationship with someone of the opposite sex? 
  • Do I have many sexual or romantic fantasies about people of the same sex? 
  • Have I had same-sex experiences that are much more exciting then opposite-sex experiences? 

If you answered "yes" to most of these questions, you have a lot to think about.  But there is no test that says for certain someone is gay.  it's important to give yourself the chance to question and explore what is right for you.

Coming Out
Coming out is when people acknowledge they are GLBT.  it's an on going process, not a single event.
Gay people are coming out their whole lives---every time they take a new class, start a new job, meet new people.

Things to think about before coming out:

It's a good idea to "test the waters" before telling everyone you know. Find friends who can give support if you run into trouble. Make you decisions based on what works for you. You don't have to follow anyone else's agenda or pressures.
Here's what coming out might look like over a period of time:
What's Great About It:

Most gay people would gladly see society's prejudices change. 
But they wouldn't change being GLBT, even if they could.

Some of the things people enjoy most about being GLBT:

  • The gay community can be welcoming. 
  • Most GLBT people value diversity. So you can know people from many different backgrounds. 
  • Gender roles are more fluid. Who cooks dinner? Changes oil in the car? Initiates sex? 
  • You gain a greater awareness of the ways other groups are oppressed. 
  • There's an openness about sexuality that can be affirming and refreshing. 
  • You can see the courage in your friends and yourself in dealing with prejudice. 
  • There are exciting cultural events-gay-related film, theater, visual arts, dance, comedy, athletics, poetry and literature. 
  • When you know who you really are, you can celebrate it and be comfortable with it. 

Information taken from ETR associates. To order brochures --> www.etr.org

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